Loss

The juggling act has come to a crashing halt.  The clown has left the circus.  The glitter was not gold.  Every day is a constant struggle to not fold up the big top and leave town.  I haven't written in awhile.  I had nothing to share.  The past year has been one of keen loss.  Beloved Nikki left us for what I hope are greener dog parks.  And my Hubby and I separated.  For a lack of a better reason, he fell out of love.  The Us no longer sustained him.

I am reeling.  I flash through every phase of grief.  Today, it is acute sadness.  Sadness for the loss of my conception of family.  Sadness for loss of what was built over the last 12 years of my marriage.  So, today I sift through the rubble of my and his failures and hope that from this a lesson in love will have been learned.  I am learning to be whole again - open and honest.  I will be complementary not supplementary.  As He to me.  I have faith that my next post will be one of renewal.